June 20th my big brother Jared passed away. I know that the Lord's time table is not what we expect at all. I am grateful for the eternal perspective that I have and to know of the plan of salvation. I know that all things happen for a reason and that Heavenly Father is in total control. All last week when I thought of my brother I felt peace. I couldn't force the tears to come, nor did I want to. Of course I was emotional, but I was and am at peace. I know that I will see him again when it is my time to pass beyond the veil. I do miss him greatly and the silly quirks that he had. I know every one who knew Jared will miss that. He was real. He had no false pretense. What you saw was what you got. I think all of he life he was trying to figure out who he was and where he belonged. He finally married, which was a huge blessing in his life. His wife, Kelli, helped him in tremendous ways. She was a big reason why he started going back to church and she kept him in line. It was quite comical to watch her with him. If anyone could tell him how it was and how it was supposed to be it was her and he would listen. He really had no choice. I knew that he loved her. So I know that by the end of his life he finally figured out where he belonged and he lived up to his name.
Jared was a big teddy bear. He had such a big heart. I know that he still does. I know that he loved me. The last time I saw him I looked at him and he smiled at me and winked. He always hugged every one in the family before he left. Every one knew that his love was real. If anything, He exuberated love. That is just what he was and what he stood for. I am grateful that he is my older brother. I am kind of jealous that he gets to be with my younger sister, Maleah, who passed away 6 years ago coming in August. I am not that jealous as to join them too soon though. I am glad to wait until my time is come. I want to see my kids and grandkids grow up first and hopefully see some great grandkids, then I won't mind being twinkled. But until that day, I will greatly miss my brother.
