Yesterday I got home from a "Time out For Women" and it was really good. Some things I didn't really enjoy and others I really did and it made me think a lot about life, about where I was at spiritually, mentally, emotionally. It made me reflect quite a bit. I guess I don't really reflect as much as I should. Well, last night I was feeling really sluggish. I started preparing to run a marathon about a month ago and if you don't keep with the schedule your body starts to get behind. I ran only Monday and Tuesday of this week and I could definitely tell, so I decided that the best thing for me to do to get over the sluggish feeling was to run. I ran 30 minutes which is only a little over 2 miles for me and during that time some things became more clear to me about life and running.
I have two beautiful children and because of it my body has changed dramatically. I have stretch marks, extra weight gain, clothes that I never thought I would wear. I blame myself though. I love good food and I have a hard time controlling the portions. Well, since I started running I have lost 6 lbs and hope to lose about 40-45 more to be at my ideal weight.
Well, as I was running I started thinking and comparing life with training to run a marathon. when you start your training you are asked to just walk/run 15 minutes on Monday, walk/run 2 miles on Tuesday, Wednesday you are off, Thursday walk/run 15 minutes again, Friday you're off, Saturday-walk/run 30 minutes and Sunday you're off. Pretty easy right. Well, that is how it is when you are learning and progressing in this life. Heavenly Father doesn't expect you to just get out there and run that marathon the first day. He allows us to take it slow as we begin to learn.
then there is the next week. You walk/run 5 minutes more than the last week and each week you go longer until you just run for 20 minutes then 30 minutes then 45 minutes and it keeps increasing. At first when it was my first day to run 30 minutes I said to myself, "there is no way I am going to be able to run for 30 minutes straight." But I tried it and do you know what happened? I did it! I couldn't believe it. I actually could run 30 minutes without stopping to catch my breath. Do you know how I did it? I took it at a slow pace. I think that is how it is with life as well. Sometimes there are things we think we can't handle or do but when we get in there and just do them and get help along the way, maybe from a friend, or a family member or most important, from the Lord then maybe it will be easier for us to do. The Lord definitely helps us along the way if we ask him to. And guess what, it is easier than we thought it would be.
I also learned something as I was running. This week I only ran Monday and Tuesday and didn't run until Saturday. When I ran on Saturday the first five minutes was really hard. I wanted to stop right there and call it a day. I did stop and get a drink of water and waited to catch my breath for about 1 minute, but I started running again. I took it at a slow pace and pushed myself to run the full 30 minutes. It was hard but I did it. I knew that my endurance was weakened because I didn't stick with the schedule. Do you think that our spiritual life can be like that? As I thought about that something struck me. As we run we have to be able to build up the endurance to run the full length. You cannot do it all at once, just like you can't build a testimony all at once. It takes time, persistence, patience with yourself, a willingness and desire, it also takes a goal in mind. Since I am running not just to run, but I have a goal that I want to run a marathon and lose my 40 to 45 lbs I have a goal in sight. I have a vision of where I want to be. Without a vision or a plan I didn't get anywhere. Having a willingness is a big one for me. When I get up in the morning on the days I am supposed to run I have to talk myself into doing it instead of getting caught up in the things I have to do for that day. I found that if I start doing something else I put off running and there have been times when I skipped it completely. I also found that with reading scriptures, saying prayers, just doing things that matter the most that can really make a difference in my life. When I read my scriptures the Lord gives me the strength to do things beyond my own capacity to do. I am more patient with my kids, with my husband, with other people around me. But when I do not put on that armor of God I am left with my own strength to do things and I don't do as well or I just fail.
If we stay on the schedule we can build our endurance and we will get the results that we are seeking. I am seeking for a more slim and healthy lifestyle. I also know that I need a healthy spiritual lifestyle. When you don't study and ponder important things found in the scriptures your light will go dim and maybe eventually go out. I have seen that in a number of people. John Bytheway in one of his talks talks about getting rooted in the gospel. He talked about having a garden of his own and that the only way his garden could survive is getting deep roots and proper nourishment. if it doesn't then it will just wither away. People who don't have deep roots in the gospel will get offended easily, will stop going to church, will think that other things are more important than doing what is most important and they will eventually leave the church completely and think of some excuse of why not to return. He also compared the different soil. Is it rocky, hard like clay, sand. If we don't have good soil then there is no nourishment and no way to survive spiritually. Also, do we have weeds growing around us? He was listening to a gardening show and they were showing what can happen to a garden if there are weeds in it. They had corn and morning glories growing together. what happens is the morning glory spread everywhere trying to compete for the nourishment and they wrap themselves around the roots of the corn and the corn eventually dies because it was choked. That can be like our spirituality. Do we have things in our lives that would do that to us? Do things get in the way and take priority that aren't really all that important and we are being killed spiritually? It is like running. You get started and build up the endurance and you are able to go farther and farther and maybe even faster as you build up the endurance, but when you don't run for a while you take some steps back and maybe that is the same with a testimony. You read your scriptures everyday, and pray all the time and you have been given all of this insight and strength, but when you don't do these things, stop listening to the promptings of the spirit, stop praying and reading your scriptures that light begins to go dim. I have definitely seen it in my life. Satan wants us to go backwards and not progress. He wants us to be miserable and everyone around us to be miserable and maybe we aid in helping in that instead of seeing the good in others and lifting them up. I am sure everyone has been guilty of that one. Satan is good at hiding that he wants us to do that and we don't recognize where those ideas and thoughts come from and whose side we are aiding. It is a very fine line.
As we pray for these spiritual strengths we will grow. As we study these spiritual strengths and make goals and strive to achieve them we will grow. As we are aware of our thoughts, words and deeds and strive to do what the Lord would have us do we will grow. We will be continually changing and growing and we will be more happy and others will see that and feel that. "Be thou an example of the believers" (1 Tim. 4:12). I don't claim to be perfect. I am just sharing what I was thinking about and what I know I need to improve on. I know that I need to get out the weeds that would choke me spiritually. The Lord will help us dig deep and get them rooted out of us. That is what the atonement is all about. All we have to do is use it each and every day. Getting those weeds out won't happen all at once and it may take a lot of faith and diligence and time, but as we continue we will progress and become clean. It doesn't guarantee perfection, but it guarantees happiness.
Life is like preparing for a marathon. Be diligent, get happy, pray for the strength to endure, and you will love the journey and it will become easier for you to do.
Autism
We had an appointment setup for today to get Emma tested for autism. We went to her appointment and the Dr. did a couple of things with her. Before she came in Emma found some dinosaurs to play with. She loves dinosaurs. The dr. came in and asked emma what she was playing with. Emma responded and told her that they were dinosaurs. Then she asked her what they were. Some of them she know, like a triseritops and bronchisaurus. She asked her some questions and had to ask a couple of different ways before emma said anything or did what she asked her to do. She had her put some shapes in a puzzle. She had her draw a person, say her ABC's and count holes. All of those she did perfect. She did some other things with emma then talked to Chris and I afterwards. She said that she had some concerns with Emma's speech and how she responds or the time it takes for her to respond. She said that when you ask emma a question it takes her a couple of times to ask and that she eventually instead of responding to the easier question asked she finally responds to the more difficult question. I don't know if I just confused anyone by that explanation. Basically, Emma thinks kind of backward compared to other kids. She set up an appointment for Emma to get her ears checked and to get with a speech therapist and after those appointments we are going to meet with the autism specialist after that. She doesn't want to make a final diagnosis until after those appointments. She finally said that there is some form of a mild autism that she has. she wants us to get emma enrolled in a preschool this coming school year. We will find out June 22nd. That is when we meet with the doctor next. We will keep an update on the blog.
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